There was a Buddhist nun named Machig Labdron who lived in Tibet in the 11th century. She was a very good nun, very smart, dedicated to her studies, tidy and disciplined when it came to her spiritual practices. She woke up early to pray every day, took on the chores of life in a monastery without complaint, and pored over her studies with great fervor and dedication. But even though she did all of these things, she was not content. She was not able to experience or embody the ideas about which she was so knowledgeable.
One day, in meditation, she had an epiphany. She realized that all suffering is the result of duality and attachment. She understood suddenly that she had formed an attachment to her own practices, and that her clinging to the idea in her mind that there was some difference between “me” and “others” was creating a barrier in her life. She had always taken pride in dressing very neatly, so she gave away her clean clothes and dressed in dirty rags. She left the nunnery and wandered from place to place, giving up her attachment to a home. She gave up her attachment to food security and depended on charity from others when it came to her meals, instead. She gave up her attachment to her studies and left all of her books behind. She stopped clinging to her own reputation, even, and started hanging around with the outcasts of society. She even gave up her attachment to her vows and started a sexual relationship with a male yogi.
People who had known her in her previous life were shocked, especially when she became pregnant, and there was rampant gossip about her. But Machig had discovered the act of “Cutting Through,” of letting go of her attachments and her drive to do what is expected and accepted by others. She recognized that nothing truly belonged to her, not even her own ego.
Most of us live two lives, or have two identities; the one we present to the world and the authentic self that we hold in secrecy. We spend so much of our lives in duality that sometimes we even lose sight of the true self, buried under the weight of guilt, expectations, our reputation, and what others think of us. Sometimes we spend so much time wearing the mask of duality that we forget what the inner self even looks like and we are fully taken over by the “outer self.” We cling to things; appearances, careers, homes, lives, things that are actually not even our true priorities. If someone asked you what are the most important things in your life, you most likely would not say “having a socially acceptable wardrobe” or “having the career that my family wants me to have.” Our truest selves prioritize ideals like connection, love, peace, joy, and spirituality. And yet, what steps do you take in your daily life to foster those things? We spend much of our days pursuing the things that do not energetically nourish us.
The act of “cutting through” in my life has been a series of big and small actions; as big as leaving my teaching career and as small as not buying a new purse or shoes when I don’t need them. Yesterday was a rainy day, so my husband and I took my daughter and her friend to the mall to walk around. The girls ran off to enjoy themselves as soon as we got there, and David and I strolled hand in hand through the busy mall. He has always loved to buy me things, and as we walked he kept making suggestions and saying “let me buy you that,” pointing to clothing and shoes and jewelry. But I kept shaking my head and thanking him, because there was simply nothing I wanted or needed, not in that whole entire building. We shopped for over two hours and I hardly spent a dime.
I could see that he was a bit disappointed (he’s always enjoyed treating me), so I laughed and apologized to him and explained that I was not trying to be difficult! I am simply in a place in my life where I am very content, I have everything I want and need, and there is just no drive in me to have more tangible things. My priorities are love and experiences and enlightenment and peace, not possessions. The items for sale in the mall did not seem real, they were all just surface items; there was nothing true there. Honestly, places like that feel off to me now, like an illusion. This place was full of people searching and searching…trying to satiate some need or fill in some emptiness with perfumes and adornments…

I encourage you to take a look at your own life and ask yourself, “am I living the life that is ideal for the true me, or am I striving for illusions?” Are your actions aligning you with the things that you truly value, or are you pursuing things that are not your real, authentic priorities? What can you cut through? What can you let go of? This does not mean I encourage you to quit your job, start homeschooling, give away all your belongings and run around in rags! And buying yourself a pretty ring or a new sweater certainly does not harm you! Objects that bring you joy or have practical value should be a part of your life. But maybe take a moment to reflect on yourself.
If you wrote a list of the things you value most in life, can you identify one action you take each day to enhance or grow towards those things, or are your daily actions pointing you in a different direction? Could you cut through anything that isn’t serving you? Do your possessions feel like a weight, and could you let go of some of them, maybe making more space for more important items or practices? Are you carrying around the weight of expectations, and could you cut through them and set some boundaries, instead? If you look inward, you may find that you actually already possess everything you need within you and that you are already perfect just the way you are. Are you ready to cut through the BS and be your true authentic self?
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